Seville Rules
by Alvinatty4ever
Summary: These are rules for the Seville family! Don't hesitate to read! Tell me what you think if I should write this or not!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so here we are! Huge desicion here! Should I make a Seville Rules? In other words, pretty much something like the 'Rules for the Chipettes and Chipmunks' things? I dunno. You're the viewers. Tell me what you think! Then I can either write it or forget it! **

**Thanks! Love ya guys! (in a friend way) **

**Signed, Alvinatty4ever**


	2. Chapter 2: Rules Number 1-26

**Hi guys, I see from all the positive reviews that you really want me to make a Seville Rules story. As you may know, I've deleted my other stories. I noticed that it's kinda hard to work on so many stories at once so I'm focusing on the two ones that a lot of people are reading, liking and reviewing. Those would be 'Love Story' and 'Alvin and Brittany's Talk Show'. And also I'll be with this one as well, since I want to make it amazing as possible. **

**Warning: If you don't like comedy and you don't know how to laugh, don't read. **

**XD. Anyway, read on!**

* * *

**Rule No. 1: Never let Dave go on a date unattended. **

Simon: That goes for pretty much everyone.

Alvin: Especially Dave.

Dave: What happened last time was not my fault!

Alvin: I'm sure that you _definitely_ didn't mean to tell Claire that she was wearing a low shirt.

Dave: Well it was! I was just trying to tell her it wasn't modest!

Alvin: That's how you got slapped in the face.

**Rule No. 2: Don't ever play Britney Spears whenever Brittany is in the house.**

Alvin: Why do we have to follow that rule?

Simon: Do you want to find out?

Alvin: Yeah sure.

Simon: Where's Theodore's iPod?

Alvin: In his room, why? He listens to Britney Spears?

Simon: Not up loud.

Alvin: Ah. Don't you have a CD or something?

Simon: No. Let's just get a video on YouTube. Go get your laptop!

Alvin: Okay okay.

*A moment later*

Alvin: Here. Now which one are you playing?

Simon: Which Spears song does Brittany hate most?

Alvin: Um...

Simon: She's your girlfriend, you should know!

Alvin: Well I don't!

Simon: Three it is then.

*Simon plays Three on Alvin's laptop*

Brittany: URGHHHHH! *smashes the laptop with a baseball bat and stomps off*

Alvin: Oh my God... SIMONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NN!

**A/N: That one is super super duper funny... I can picture it in my brain. XD**

**Rule No. 3: Always have a storage of nuts in case the fridge's power cuts off. Which is often.**

Theodore: Where's the acorns, guys?

Jeanette: I dunno.

Eleanor: Did anyone pack a few spare nuts?

Alvin: Who in the world does that?

Brittany: Might want to consider it, now that the fridge is being stupid again.

Alvin: Well, Theodore, I suggest you look in the closet. You always hide food in there.

Theodore: I looked everywhere! I didn't find any macadamias, almonds, cashews, walnuts, brazils, pistachios, peanuts, chestnuts or hazelnuts!

Alvin: Huh?

Theodore: Those are the only nuts Dave lets us eat.

Eleanor: Well, prepare for a long period of hunger until Dave comes back from No Frills.

**Rule No. 4: If you want to stay alive, keep out of Brittany's closet. **

Simon: I found that out the hard way.

Alvin: Oh yeah, she punched you in the nose, didn't she?

Simon: How could I forget...

Alvin: Theodore says she gets it from me..

Simon: She does.

Alvin: Girls can be pretty violent, I just noticed.

**Rule No. 5: When the Chipettes are on the phone, go away. Do not bother them. **

Alvin: Hey, where's Brittany?

Theodore: On the phone.

Alvin: AGAIN?!

Theodore: Yes again. Why does it matter?

Alvin: Because I was going to tell her something. You know what happens when the Chipettes are on the phone and they notice us trying to get them off.

Simon: Believe me, we'll never try again.

**Rule No. 6: Don't let the Chipettes go out on a date to a place where there's gonna be strippers.**

Jeanette: Last time, nothing happened!

Simon: If you'd have went any closer to them, you'd have been touching them.

Jeanette: I am not a pervert. That's Alvin and Brittany.

Brittany and Alvin: HEY!

Simon: Just remember the zoo rule: No petting.

**Rule No. 7: Compliment the Chipettes whenever possible.**

Simon: Your glasses reflect your shimmering eyes perfectly, Jeanette.

Jeanette: Thank you. *walks away*

Theodore: You look like a marshmallow with wings, Ellie!

Eleanor: Aw, Theo! *giggles as she walks away*

Alvin: You look pretty, Brittany.

Brittany: Yay! *walks away*

Simon: That wasn't a good compliment.

Alvin: I don't think she cares.

**Rule No. 8: Alvin, do not argue with Brittany. The woman is always right.**

Brittany: Alvin, none of your ex-girlfriends were ever prettier, nicer or better in bed than me.

Alvin: How do you know?

Brittany: Because I just do!

Alvin: Why, were you dating one of them?

Brittany: EW! No way!

Alvin: Hee hee hee.

**Rule No. 9: Believe it or not, Brittany thinks Alvin's more attractive when he's drunk.**

Alvin: Where're the girls?

Theodore: Whispering and giggling in their room.

Simon: Yeah. About who knows what.

Alvin: Ah. Did you get to hear anything they said?

Simon and Theodore: Nope!

Alvin: I'm gonna go eavesdrop on them.

*Few Minutes Later*

*Alvin has his ear to the door, listening to the conversation*

Jeanette: Okay, Brittany, your turn to tell us something that you've never ever told anyone else before!

Brittany: Okay, I'm thinking. Alright, Alvin is way more hotter when he's drunk.

Jeanette: Ugh, really?

Eleanor: Alvin's never hot.

Brittany: Just look at him when he's drunk and you'll change your mind.

**Rule No. 10: Chipmunks, tell your girlfriends you love them if you do love them. And tell them often.**

Alvin: I love you, Brittany.

Brittany: I know, Alvie. You tell me that all the time.

Alvin: Well, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

**Rule No. 11: Always remember Valentine's Day or you'll pay the price.**

Simon: Theodore, what'd you get Eleanor for V Day?

Theodore: Oh, those German chocolates that she really really REALLY wants! She's gonna love them!

Simon: Those 50 thousand dollar ones?

Theodore: Yeah but it was worth it.

Simon: It's always worth it to use all your money on a special lover in your life.

Theodore: That's so mushy.

Simon: It's a true quote, though.

Theodore: What'd you get Jeanette?

Simon: All the Harry Potter books and a Ron Weasley doll that looks exactly like him.

Theodore: She's a big Potterhead, eh?

Simon: Yep. And she really likes Ron.

Theodore: Knowing Alvin, he probably forgot.

Simon: Most likely.

Alvin: Hey!

Simon: Hi Alvin. What'd you get for Brittany?

Alvin: Ah nothing. Just a reservation to that new fancy French restaurant that Britt wants to go to. See ya!

*Alvin and Brittany walk out of the house*

Simon: Wow, he remembered.

**Rule No. 12: You never try to change the way that Brittany dresses.**

Simon: But doesn't Brittany dress the least bit slutty?

Alvin: Well, even if she does, she's my little slut.

Brittany: Awww, that's so sweet! Wait, what?!

**Rule No. 13: Jeanette is obsessed with Harry Potter. Live with it. **

Simon: Jean, can you put the book down for a second?

Jeanette: NO! And it's not just a book. It's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Simon: Ummm... okay?

Jeanette: Quick, you have five seconds to ask the question, then back to the magic world for me.

Simon: Alright, can you give me more time than that? I can't ask you my question in just five short seconds..

Jeanette: Time's up!

Simon: Jeanette!

**Rule No. 14: Dave, quit complaining about your boss. Find another job.**

Dave: I am sick of Ian! Always saying that my songs are garbage! Well, I should drive back to Jett Records and give him a piece of my mind!

Simon: Not a good idea.

Dave: My songs are not garbage!

Alvin: Isn't that the reason why you have us?

**Rule No. 15: Guess what, Alvin? As much as you get annoyed by it, Brittany always wants kisses. **

Brittany: Alvin, do you even remember when our last date was?

Alvin: Am I supposed to keep track?

Brittany: YES!

Alvin: Well sorry, I don't know.

Brittany: Really, Alvin?

Alvin: I don't see why you want a date every single week.

Brittany: Because the only time you kiss me is when we're on a date.

Alvin: Do you want me to change that?

Brittany: Yes.

Alvin: Well, no.

Brittany: URGHHHHHHH!

**Rule No. 16: Simon, if Jeanette tells you where she wants to go out, don't pout when she tells you.**

Simon: So, for this month, where do you want to go for a date?

Jeanette: The Harry Potter museum.

Simon: Ewww, whyyyy?

Jeanette: No whining!

**Rule No. 17: Brittany is not a nag, Alvin.**

Alvin: Do you have to irratate me about everything?

Brittany: I only keep asking because you don't do it the first time!

**Rule No. 18: The Chipettes like getting flowers for any reason whatsoever, even if the Chipmunks have no reasons.**

Theodore: Eleanor, can I give you a gift?

Eleanor: Of course, Teddy.

Theodore: Well, here. It's a rose. Not even this red rose is prettier than you.

Eleanor: Oh Theodore! You're so sweet!

Brittany: *scoffs* Gosh! I never get anything romantic like that!

Alvin: Oh come on, yes you do!

Brittany: Uh huh. And you're _such _a 'good' example of a romantic boyfriend.

**Rule No. 19: Saying something sweet will sometimes work, but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. **

Simon: Jeanette... can you put down your book for a second?

Jeanette: It's Harry Potter and the Dea..

*A Minute Later*

Jeanette: Wow. That's the nicest kiss ever, Simon!

Simon: Your welcome, dear.

**Rule No. 20: Fashion police do exist. So don't let Brittany catch you wearing leather with stripes.**

Simon: How does this look?

Alvin: You look like a constipated gorilla who exploded in a candy-cane factory.

Simon: Nice advice for a date, Alvin. Real nice.

Alvin: Brittany told me never to lie to her.

Simon: I'm not Brittany.

Alvin: I know. But I speak my mind and I'm doing it now.

*Brittany walks in and gasps at Simon*

Brittany: SIMON! LEATHER NEVER GOES WITH STRIPES! EVERRRR!

**Rule No. 21: Always eat whatever Eleanor cooks.**

Eleanor: How's the spaghetti, guys?

Jeanette: Amazing! I'm sure you'd make Neville Longbottom a fantastic cook one day!

Eleanor: I have no idea if that's supposed to be good or bad but okay.

**Rule No. 22: Whenever Brittany asks you how she looks, choose wisely. **

Brittany: Ugh, I look ridiculous.

Simon: That's not exactly ridiculous.

Brittany: Yes it is! Black looks horrible with gold on me.

Simon: Wear something else instead of that dress then. Why're you asking me anyway? Why not ask your boyfriend?

Brittany: Oh please. You're telling me to ask Alvin for fashion advice?

Simon: Eh good point.

Brittany: Anyway, he wouldn't care.

Simon: He does care.

Brittany: Sure... like I'd believe that.

Simon: He does! I swear!

Brittany: Uh huh.

Simon: Alvin likes anything you wear. Know why? Because he loves to look at you.

Brittany: Eeep! Okay, I'll go to Alvin.

*Ten Minutes Later*

Brittany: Alvie, what do you think of this? Black...gold.. so?

Alvin: I'm not even gonna say anything.

**Rule No. 23: Whenever the Chipettes are going through bad times, comfort them.**

*The Chipettes come from school later than the Chipmunks, crying*

Simon: What happened, Jeanette?

Jeanette: Oh, n-nothing... There weren't any bullies chasing us around school today, not ever leaving us alone! No way! That didn't happen.

Simon: Jeanette, why didn't you tell me during school?

Jeanette: B-because, I just c-couldn't get the time to d-do it.

Simon: Well, it's alright. You guys will be just fine for now.

**Rule No. 24: Alvin, you know that Brittany keeps your life in order, don't fight with her, please!**

Brittany: Alvie, can I ask you something?

Alvin: Yeah sure.

Brittany: Okay, I heard today that you were spreading rumours about me at school. Is that true or not?

Alvin: What rumours?

Brittany: The rumours that have been floating around for a while now. And I didn't know that they came from you until today.

Alvin: I never spread rumours about you. Ever.

Brittany: Oh really? Then who did?

Alvin: Do you expect me to know everything?

Brittany: I expect you not to lie!

Alvin: I'm not lying to you!

Brittany: You usually lie to me!

Alvin: Because that's what you think! You don't even bother to listen to me!

Brittany: Yes I do! You just don't say what you mean!

Alvin: Do you want me to say what I really mean?

Brittany: Yes! Yes I do, Alvin!

Alvin: Fine. I'm tired of fighting with you and I love you, we just need to stop fighting.

**Rule No. 25: Family don't have to be related.**

Alvin: Dave, 5 hours is way too much.

Dave: It is not too much time to spend a few moments with your family.

Alvin: A few?

Dave: After all, we're all family.

Alvin: Ew, that means I'd be dating one of my family members. That's just wrong, Dave.

Dave: Okay, we're not all related.

**Rule No. 26: Don't bother with taking the Chipettes shopping. The only one that ever buys anything is Brittany. **

Alvin: Why did we have to come to the mall today? Of all days, a Saturday?

Brittany: Saturday is the perfect day to come to the mall, Alvin.

Alvin: Simon and Theodore are lucky. They didn't even have to come.

Brittany: That's because Eleanor hates to shop and Jeanette's always reading.

Alvin: Did you buy anything yet or are we just walking in circles?

* * *

**There's Rules Numbers 1-26. Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3: Rules Number 27- 63?

**Here is the next chapter of the Seville Rules!**

**I see that a lot of people are liking it, that's always good news, eh? Anywho, that aside, time to go back to the Seville Rules! **

**I love Rule 44. LOL!**

* * *

**Rule No. 27: Simon, never buy gum and bring it to school. Unless you want to be pestered by the others saying "Give us one" "Give us one"! **

Simon: Never again shall I bring gum to school.

Theodore: Yeah, you should've learned your lesson!

**Rule No. 28: Jeanette's a teacher's pet, don't let her see you doing something bad in school. **

Alvin: Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet!

Jeanette: I pride myself on being a teacher's pet.

Alvin: Huh? Why?

Jeanette: Because I can get away with more things than others can.

Simon: She's got you there, Alvin.

**Rule No. 29: Crying doesn't mean you're a wimp. It means you have feelings. **

Ryan: Ha! Brittany's such a baby!

Eleanor: She wouldn't be crying if you hadn't have been teasing her, you big bully!

Ryan: Oh come on, you're both wimps. You and her both need to suck up.

Eleanor: No we don't! At least we have feelings!

**Rule No. 30: At school, don't go to the bathroom during a lesson, unless you're willing to get the evil eye. **

Alvin: Mrs. Nilch, can I go to the bathroom?

Mrs. Nilch: No, Alvin! Sit down and listen to the lesson!

Alvin: Too late to sit down, gotta go! *runs out of the room*

Simon: He never can wait, can he?

Theodore: Don't expect him to.

Alvin: *runs back* I have returned, Mrs. Nilch!

Mrs. Nilch: SIT DOWN!

Alvin: Okay okay!

**Rule No. 31: No throwing snowballs at someone's face. 'Nuff said.**

Brittany: ALVINNNNNNNNNN!

**Rule No. 32: No going in front of somebody in line, unless you're Theodore.**

Simon: Theodore, I was here first!

Theodore: I'm chubby, I'm hungry, I'm little. Do you think I'm gonna wait?

**Rule No. 33: Don't draw on the bathroom wall. Dave paid a few million dollars to get them tiled.**

Simon: How do you even draw on tiled walls?

Alvin: Permanent markers, duh!

Simon: How do you know that it works?

Alvin: No reason!

**Rule No. 34: Drawing on the classroom desks is not allowed! EVER! **

Alvin: *starts carving his name in his History class desk with a pair of scissors* La dee dee dum de dum...

Simon: Mrs. Nilch, Alvin's drawing on his desk!

Mrs. Nilch: ALVIN SEVILLE!

Alvin: Hey, nobody ever said I couldn't carve my desk.

**Rule No. 35: No PDA (public displays of affection) anywhere! At school, at the mall, even at home!**

Alvin: Hey Brittany.

Brittany: Hi. *closes her locker*

Alvin: So, what class do you have next?

Brittany: I think I have Alvin classes.

Alvin: Huh? What the hell is Alvin cla...

Brittany: Shut up. *kisses Alvin for a split second and pulls away*

Mrs. Nilch: Miss Miller and Mr. Seville, DETENTION!

**Rule No. 36: Monday. Nobody likes Monday. Except Alvin.**

Alvin: Monday, Monday. Everyone hates Monday.

Brittany: Except you.

Alvin: Yeah, just me.

**Rule No. 37: Get to school on time or don't come at all. **

Alvin: *pants, running into the classroom* I-I'm here!

Mrs. Nilch: GET OUT!

Alvin: What? Why?

Mrs. Nilch: YOU'RE LATE! GET OUT!

Alvin: *shrugs* Hey, works for me.

**Rule No. 38: Only one person at a time goes to the bathroom, whether it's a boy or a girl. **

Alvin: But I have to go to the bathroom!

Mrs. Nilch: Brittany's going. SO YOU'RE NOT!

Alvin: Whyyyy?

Mrs. Nilch: I know that you'll do SOMETHING WE DO NOT NEED TO DISCUSS!

Alvin: hee hee hee.

**Rule No. 39: Theodore didn't know how to swear. Until he learned how to drive. **

Theodore: GET OUT OF THE FREAKIN' DAMN WAY!

Alvin: We never should've let him drive.

Simon: Right.

Theodore: THIS F***N THING CAN'T MOVE!

**Rule No. 40: Tripping is definitely normal. (A/N: This one cracks me up!) **

Jeanette: AWK! *falls over her shoelaces*

Ryan: HA HA HA! Jeanette tripped in the hall!

Jeanette: *dusts herself off* I didn't trip. I was simply testing gravity. It still works.

**Rule No. 41: Scary noises at night with Theodore awake. **

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Theodore: This is it. I had a good life.

**Rule No. 42: Whenever Simon proves a teacher wrong, the day is bound to be a suckage day for the rest of you listening to him brag. **

Simon: Mrs. Nilch, I'm sorry to tell you this, but the property factor of 82 isn't 7.

**Rule No. 43: Alvin, stop making Brittany laugh when she's reading to the class. **

Mrs. Nilch: Miss Miller, please read page 84 of your science textbook.

Brittany: Okay... when an aircraft is in the air, four forces act upon it, consisting of lift, thrust, drag and gravity...

Alvin: There's gotta be a lot of gravity to keep Mrs. Nilch on the ground.

Brittany: *giggles* Gravity keeps an item, person or place on the ground and not floating up into space. In the case of an aircraft, gravity tries to pull down the aircraft to the ground. Lift helps the aircraft to get off the ground and...

Alvin: Any aircraft Mrs. Nilch goes in won't ever be able to lift off of the ground.

Brittany: *starts laughing again*

Mrs. Nilch: MISS MILLER! KEEP READING!

Brittany: Yes, Mrs. Nilch.

Mrs. Nilch: AND YOU, MR. SEVILLE! SHUT UP!

Alvin: What did I do?

**Rule No. 44: Do not insult the teacher, Alvin, even if you're good at that. **

Mrs. Nilch: Alright, class. I am beautiful. What tense is that?

Alvin: Obviously past.

**Rule No. 45: In boring classes, Eleanor improves her art skills. **

Eleanor: Ugh... *starts doodling on her math textbook papers*

Simon: What are you doing? Whoa! That looks just like Stephan Harper!

Eleanor: I try.

**Rule No. 46: Good grades, enough sleep, a social life. Pick one.**

Alvin: Duh my social life.

Jeanette: And you don't care about a quality education, good grades and straight A's?

Alvin: That's what you picked. I can only pick one.

**Rule No. 47: That awkward moment when you call your teacher "Mom" or "Dad". Believe me, Simon's had plenty of those moments. **

Mrs. Nilch: Simon, please erase the chalkboard.

Simon: Okay Mom. Oops!

Alvin: Simon, we haven't seen Vinny in ten years!

Simon: That's what makes it so weird.

**Rule No. 48: When Eleanor finds Mr. Right, she never knew his first name was Always. (A/N: This one is super sweet!) **

Theodore: Ellie... *kisses Eleanor gently* Um.. that's for being such a nice friend.

Eleanor: Oh, I think we're more than friends now!

**Rule No. 49: Every girl wants a bad boy. You want a bad boy, go get Alvin. Sorry, but he's taken. **

Brittany: Mine mine mine! MUAH HA HA!

Alvin: Britt, whenever we're in the mall, doesn't mean you need to declare that I'm yours.

Brittany: Yes I do or all the others will forget.

Alvin: Oh please, Brittany. Nobody messes with my bad girl.

**Rule No. 50: Jeanette doesn't hate anyone. **

Simon: Hey, Ryan just put on his Facebook status 'about to jump off a cliff'.

Jeanette: I'm gonna go poke him. *grabs her jacket*

**Rule No. 51: Girls, never like Alvin's Facebook picture. Brittany will stalk you. **

Alvin: Brittany, you've been on your laptop all day! What the hell are you doing?

Brittany: Doing something on Facebook. No biggie, right? Yeah, I'm right. Of course I'm right.

Alvin: You're having a nervous breakdown, eh?

Brittany: More or less. Some girl liked your Facebook picture and I'm stalking her to make sure she doesn't keep doing it.

Alvin: So? I liked your picture. You gonna stalk me too?

Brittany: Yep. *stares at Alvin*

Alvin: Now you're creeping me out.

**Rule No. 52: Never ask Simon obvious questions. You'll get an obvious answer. **

Alvin: Simon, what would you do if there was no Google?

Simon: I dunno. Google it.

**Rule No. 53: Theodore may not be the fastest runner but he's faster than some things. **

Alvin: Theodore, you need to go fast!

Theodore: At least I'm faster than Internet Explorer!

**Rule No. 54: Simon's second obvious answer to another obvious question. **

Alvin: Can you help me with my math homework, Simon? Pleaseeeee!

Simon: Don't ask me something unless you haven't Googled it first.

**Rule No. 55: Skinny jeans are like calories. **

Eleanor: Ughhh! Urghhh! Ughhh!

Alvin: What's she doing?

Brittany: Getting off her skinny jeans.

Alvin: Oh.

Brittany: As she says, skinny jeans and calories have one thing in common. They're easy to put on, but nearly impossible to take off.

**Rule No. 56: Don't remind Brittany about her email address as a little kid. **

Brittany: Hey Si! Whatcha doing?

Simon: Cleaning out my inbox.

Brittany: Ah.

Simon: Who's PrincessDora , Brittany? Oh yeah, you. ALVIN! GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!

Brittany: Noooooo! Alvie, don't listen to him!

**Rule No. 57: Nerd is not just a 4 letter word. It's a 6 digit paycheck every month in the future. **

Ryan: Nerd coming through. Make way for the furry rat nerd, fellas.

Simon: One day, I'm gonna be richer than now and you'll be working for me.

**Rule No. 58: Know what fun is? No. You don't. **

Simon: I'm gonna go play chess in the backyard with Steve!

Alvin: That's not fun.

Simon: You're not fun.

Alvin: You're not fun.

Simon: You're not fun.

Alvin: Steve's not fun.

**Rule No. 59: Being single is great. Until you see a happy couple. **

Simon: I remember when I used to be single.

Jeanette: I remember that too. Wh-when I used to be single, I mean.

Simon: Yeah. Look at us. A happy couple! Eleanor and Theodore are happy!

Jeanette: It's really so sweet!

Simon: Even Alvin and Brittany are happy. Wait... let me rethink that.

**Rule No. 60: If Alvin pauses his video games just to text Brittany, he must really like her. **

Brittany: Awww! See what he texted me! *shows her cell-phone screen to Simon*

Simon: That's just mushy.

Brittany: It's adorable! Awww, gotta text him back!

Simon: You can just talk to him.

Brittany: Why is that?

Simon: He's right across the room!

Brittany: ...

Simon: Aha.

Brittany: Takes too long to get there.

**Rule No. 61: It's pathetic when you find Waldo before you find a boyfriend. **

Blaise: Britt, I need a boyfriend! Stat!

Brittany: You're my best friend, I'd do anything to help out.

Blaise: Ah, you're the best.

Brittany: Look for Waldo while I search up some facts on how to get a guy. *hands the 'Where's Waldo' book to Blaise*

Blaise: *opens the book* Hmm... I found him!

Brittany: Okay, this is sad.

**Rule No. 62: Going to the bathroom during the night is a life-and-death decision. **

Alvin: *sits up in bed* Should I go pee or not?

*Smashing noises from downstairs*

Alvin: *collapses on the bed* Never mind.

**Rule No. 63: Stop calling yourself "sexy" Simon. (A/N: Can't stop... l-laugh-laughing!) **

Simon: I'm the sexiest person I know.

Alvin: The only thing you turn on is a microwave.

Simon: ALVINNN!

**Rule No. 64: The 'Rubber Ducky' song is now banned. Permanently. **

Theodore: Rubber Ducky, you're the one! You make bathtime lots of fun!

Alvin and Brittany: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Theodore: What?

Alvin: Do you not realize how sexual that song is?

Brittany: AND how gross it sounds?

Theodore: Nope.

Alvin and Brittany: *facepalm*

* * *

**Oh my God, I can't stop laughing! Tears are coming out of my eyes now! LOL!**

**Hope you loved it! Tell me which Rules were your favorites!**


	4. Chapter 4: 65-98

**Next chapter of Seville Rules!**

* * *

**Rule No. 65: Alvin's untidy room is a good thing. **

Brittany: Alvin, why is your room so messy all the time?

Alvin: Because. If somebody tried to kill me, they'd trip over my stuff and I'd have enough time to grab my baseball bat, whack 'em and run away.

Brittany: You have such a weird imagination.

**Rule No. 66: Nothing's lost until Jeanette can't find it. **

Brittany: I don't get it. My makeup is lost somehow and Jeanette's the most organized chipmunk I know!

Alvin: Here's an idea. Ask someone who's NOT a chipmunk!

**Rule No. 67: When Brittany and Blaise are having their girl talks, best not listen. **

Blaise: Hey Britt, did you see those cool high heels I texted you? Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?

Brittany: Totally! I thought I was gonna faint! I need those in my life!

Blaise: Do you think if I had those heels that I'd get a boyfriend easier?

Brittany: ... Maybe.

**Rule No. 68: Brittany's comebacks don't need work. They need control. **

Alvin: You've got your tail in a twist again.

Brittany: Your brothers made a mess of my room looking for something they left in there!

Alvin: Seriously manage your anger, Britt.

Brittany: I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.

**Rule No. 69: Spinny chairs take away your maturity. Really.**

Theodore: Whoa, look at that!

Brittany: It's a spinny chair.

Simon: Revolving chair.

Brittany: Whatever.

Theodore: *hops on the chair, giggling* Wheeeee!

**Rule No. 70: Whenever Brittany says 'I don't have a crush on anyone', she's lying. LYING! **

Jeanette: Brittany, truth or dare?

Brittany: Truth.

Jeanette: Do you have a serious crush on anybody?

Brittany: I don't have a serious crush on anyone.

Jeanette: Oh please, you do!

Brittany: No! I don't!

Jeanette: Then why are you dating Alvin?

Brittany: Don't force me to admit anything!

**Rule No. 71: Why did God create men first? Brittany has an interesting theory. **

Brittany: Because. He needed a rough draft before a masterpiece. *flips her hair and marches away*

**Rule No. 72: Eleanor can't swear. She just can't. **

Eleanor: You're such a poopy-pants!

Alvin: That's not even a swear word.

Eleanor: I don't care, meanie head!

**Rule No. 73: Brittany isn't dressing up for anyone but Alvin. That's that. **

Brittany: Baby bear, which dress looks better? *holds up two pink dresses*

Alvin: They look the same.

Brittany: Alvin! One is shorter and one has a darker pink color!

Alvin: Well, excuseeeee me!

Brittany: I'll just dress up then.

Alvin: Yay!

**Rule No. 74: Blaise needs a boyfriend badly! **

Blaise: You know what's sad?

Brittany: This watermelon lip gloss I'm wearing? Honestly, I shouldn't have bought it.

Blaise: Not that! My phone battery lasts longer than my relationships with guys nowadays.

Brittany: ...

**Rule No. 75: Theodore eats bubbles. Nobody knows why. **

Theodore: Yum!

Brittany: That's laundry detergent.

Theodore: And?

**Rule No. 76: We all have one really perverted friend. Even Jeanette does. **

Keira: So, where's your hottie brother, Alvin?

Jeanette: Oh, he's not my brother. He's my boyfriend's brother.

Keira: Oh. Well, where is he?

Jeanette: With Brittany.

Keira: Where? Doing what?

Jeanette: *raises her eyebrows* Upstairs.

Keira: *giggles evilly* Really? They're... you know... *giggles*

Jeanette: I bet you 10 to 1 that they're not doing that!

**Rule No. 77: Brittany is horrified of spiders. (Hee hee, just like Ron Weasley! Ahhhhh, Ronnn...) **

Brittany: AWK! SPIDER!

Alvin: Where?

Brittany: I-I just saw it right.. right there! *points under her bed*

Alvin: It's on the wall.

Brittany: EEEK!

Alvin: Now it's... gone. That's one weird spider.

Brittany: SPIDER!

**Rule No. 78: You never escape your childhood. Simon learned that. **

Simon: Go! Go! Go!

Jeanette: What are you doing, Simon?

Simon: See, it's raining outside. There's two raindrops on the window that I'm watching to see who wins the race.

Jeanette: Have fun! *hurries away*

Simon: Go Raindrop Number 1! Go! Raindrop Number 2, you call that running?

**Rule No. 79: Brittany knows what "the look" is. Whenever Blaise sees a cute guy, she does "the look" as if Brittany knows what she's thinking. **

**(A/N: Alvin's at the house and Brittany's with Blaise at the mall) **

Brittany: Well, gotta call Alvin.

Blaise: This mall is so huge! It's a miracle they have so many Apple stores, right?

Brittany: Yeah I know. *presses 1, which is the speed dial for Alvin's cell-phone* Hey, Alvie!

Alvin: Hey princess, whatcha doing?

Brittany: Just came out of Victoria's Secret. Blaise and I are going to go upgrade her iPhone to the new model. She's had some issues with her phone again. You?

Alvin: Not much. Simon and Theodore are going on dates with your sisters.

Brittany: Yep, unlike a little someone I know that never asks.

Alvin: Sorry. When you come home, I'll make it up to you.

Brittany: Oh I know you will, sweetheart.

Alvin: Yeahhh...

Brittany: Anyway, sweetie, I just wanted to tell you something... something really really serious...

Blaise: HEY BRITT! Look at that hottie there! *points to a redhead guy*

Brittany: Oh Blaise, really? Alvin just hung up! Ugh, what the heck do you want?

Blaise: Look! *does "the look" at her* Time for flirting!

Brittany: Go ahead. I'll just upgrade your phone without you.

**Rule No. 80: A jealous Brittany can close a case before the FBI. **

Brittany: Hey baby, I'm really needing some.. *gasps* Keira! Alvin!

Alvin: *pushes Keira away* See, told ya!

Keira: Awww. It was fun while it lasted.

Brittany: Grrrrrrr!

**Rule No. 81: You think you have separation issues? Try separating Jeanette from her bed on a Monday morning. **

Simon: Jeanie, time to get up, dear.

Jeanette: *grunts*

Simon: Up and addem!

Jeanette: Nooo...

**Rule No. 82: When an old person cracks a lame joke, (which is usually all the time) fake laughs come right away. **

Jeanette: The elderly need people to play Monopoly with. They're quite good.

Brittany: Ugh! Old, gross, yucky people who don't know anything about fashion!

Jeanette: They're very wise and one can predict the future.

Brittany: Oh shut up, that's so not true.

Jeanette: You'll enjoy this trip.

Eleanor: Trust me, neither of us will.

Jeanette: *walks into the retirement home with Brittany and Eleanor* Here it is. *sits next to Brittany and Eleanor on the couch in the living room full of elderly people*

Brittany: Ew.

Jeanette: Isn't this great?

Brittany: Noooo!

Eleanor: This is just unfair. Why'd we have to come?

Jeanette: To play Monopoly. Hello, Bessie.

**( A/N: Bessie is an old lady person from the cartoon episodes. So is Matilda, by the way. )**

Bessie: Eee. Eee. H-hello, dearie. Who're these deariesuckles? *pinches Brittany's cheeks*

Brittany: Ugh! Oww!

Jeanette: Oh, hello, Matilda!

Matilda: Ahh! Humbug, Jeanette, you've returned! Come ta beat me again in Monopoly, eh?

Jeanette: Oh last time, you won. *smiles*

Matilda: Who're the ugly fuzzbuckets with ya? *looks from Eleanor to Brittany*

Eleanor: Huh?

Brittany: FUZZBUCKETS? WHO'RE YOU CALLING A FUZZBUCKET?

Jeanette: Brittany, they're fragile. Don't hurt them!

Brittany: AND I AM NOT UGLY! I NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL! NOT UGLY, I TELL YOU!

Jeanette: Calm down now, Britt. Soon enough, you'll be with your revolting boyfriend making out.

Brittany: *sighs dreamily* Yeah.

Matilda: I do not like those two. Especially her. *points to Brittany*

Brittany: Live with it, granny.

Jeanette: Ugh.

Matilda: That girl's as lanky and stubborn as a haystack in a pile of horses.

Jeanette and Matilda: *laughs like crazy*

Brittany: Heh. Heh.. *starts fake laughing, frowning* Yeah, real funny. If that made sense.

**Rule No. 83: Ryan, this is totally true. You have no brains. You roll your eyes too much. You're rude. **

Brittany: Keep rolling your eyes, Ryan. You might find a brain back there.

**Rule No. 84: Alvin, stop doing bad things. Dave finds out. **

Dave: ALVINNNN!

Brittany: What did you do this time?

Alvin: I really don't remember.

**Rule No. 85: Eleanor. Soccer isn't everything. **

Eleanor: Need to find my soccer gear!

Alvin: Dave's cleaning it.

Eleanor: Nooo! I need it!

Alvin: You need soccer gear? All you need is two nets, some players and a soccer ball.

**Rule No. 86: Simon's mind. Shut up. Just leave him alone. He needs SLEEP! And stop dreaming! **

Simon: Brittany.. *shakes Brittany* I can't sleep!

Brittany: It's nearly midnight... *yawns* Why can't you sleep?

Simon: My mind won't shut up. I can't sleep when I'm thinking about factoids and scientific priorities!

Brittany: *grabs Simon and kisses him passionately. After three minutes, she pulls out* There.

Simon: Oh my God, wow.

Brittany: Now you go to sleep, my sexy little Simon.

Simon: *grins sheepishly*

* * *

Brittany: WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Simon: Wha- what? *wakes up, groggily*

Brittany: Si, wake up! You're awake. Good.

Simon: I- I was having.. a-a wonderful... amazing... perfect dream.

Brittany: Who cares? Oh yeah, only you. So, wake up. Dave's been waiting. Time for school! *leaves the room*

Simon: *Groans* It was.. only a per-perfect dream... *sighs*

**Rule No. 87: Alvin, no more locking your bedroom door. We all know what you're doing in there. **

Dave: ALVINNNNN!

Alvin: Coming. *goes downstairs and gasps* Britt?

Dave: You and she are both in trouble. I know what you do every Sunday night.

Alvin: Huh? Ohh. Oh, you do know.

Dave: Yep. And I'm very mad at you. And Brittany.

Brittany: Heh heh. Yeah I know...

Dave: Your brothers were very concerned and told me about their suspicions and it just so seems that they're most likely right. You and Brittany have been love-making again, right?

Alvin: NO! I... I mean, yeah.

Dave: Alvin.

Alvin: I know! Grounded again.

**Rule No. 88: Keep Blaise away from Keira. They hate eachother. **

Blaise: I'm so happy you invited me over for a sleepover!

Brittany: I had to beg Dave. See, he grounded me and Alvin for our little sex affairs on Sundays...

Blaise: Oh. Wait, you do that every Sunday?

Brittany: Well, do you see me getting pregnant any time soon?

Blaise: *snorts* Nope.

Brittany: Oh, darn. Jeanette invited Keira over! Damn it, I forgot...

Blaise: Grrr.

**Rule No. 89: Seducing Brittany just doesn't work for other guys. For Alvin, it definitely does. **

Ryan: Hey, georgues, maybe we should get going. We can go by my house, maybe get some ping ping action in my room? What do you say, beautiful?

Brittany: I say, in your freakin' dreams.

Ryan: WHAT?

Alvin: Ha ha! Come on, princess, let's ditch the weirdo.

Ryan: I'm more popular than you two are!

Alvin: Do you think we care?

**Rule No. 90: The Chipettes have fantasies. Don't talk to them about it. **

Jeanette: I had the dream again!

Eleanor: Me too! It was fantastic!

Jeanette: Of course, Brittany's lived the real thing.

Brittany: Hey don't be jealous! I'm just sexier than you two.

**Rule No. 91: Flirting is just awkward around Dave. **

Jeanette: Um, Dave, can you pass the salt?

Simon: I can do it! I'm closer. *passes the salt to Jeanette, winking*

Jeanette: *blushes* Thanks.

**Rule No. 92: No more Men In Black! Dave got knocked out last time! **

Theodore: That wasn't my fault!

Alvin: Kinda was.

Theodore: Um... again, sorry Dave.

Dave: Don't watch Men In Black ever again.

**Rule No. 93: Alvin, you and your brothers need to up your relationships with your girlfriends! They're getting bored! **

Simon: Jeanette's not really listening to my advice anymore, you know.

Alvin: That's not my fault, is it? I'm having issues too!

Theodore: You always have issues, don't you?

Alvin: *crosses his arms* Oh come on.

Simon: We need to work on this.

Alvin: We need flirting lessons.

Theodore: Well, don't choose Dave as a teacher!

Simon: Or Blaise.

Alvin: Or Keira.

Simon: Then we need to teach ourselves.

**Rule No. 94: Texting your girlfriend a smiley face doesn't work, Theodore. **

Theodore: Smiley! Smiley! Eleanor didn't respond to the smiley face!

**Rule No. 95: Complimenting works. Don't ever overdo it. Jeanette knows when you're laying it on thick, guys. **

Simon: Jeanette, could I please tell you something?

Jeanette: Excuse me, did you say a little something? Or is that Brittany asking for money?

Simon: It's Simon! Simon!

Jeanette: Sorry, I'm reading.

Simon: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Jeanette: *faint smiling* Yes.

Simon: You know, I've always been fond of the series actually.

Jeanette: You haven't. You like Twilight a lot more.

Simon: Well... so... too bad for that.

**Rule No. 96: Seductive Facebook messages to the Chipettes. Dave has Facebook! He can see 'em! **

Dave: ALVINNN! THEODORE! SIMON!

**Rule No. 97: No posting photos of your boyfriend with you on Instagram, Chipettes. Yes, Dave has Instagram too.**

Brittany: Ahhhhh, he's so adorable. *gazes at the photo of Alvin she posted on Instagram*

Dave: BRITTANY! COME DOWN HERE NOW!

Brittany: Ugh. Coming! *smiles one last time at her iPod screen and runs downstairs*

**Rule No. 98: Dr. Pepper is the only pop you can drink on Movie Night. NOTHING ELSE! **

Dave: Where's the Dr. Pepper, guys?

Alvin: In the fridge, duh.

Dave: Yes, I know that. *stands up and goes to get the Dr. Pepper*

Simon: Well... which movie are we watching tonight?

Jeanette and Brittany: HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!

Alvin: There's 7 movies, isn't there?

Jeanette and Brittany: ALL SEVEN! ALL SEVEN! ALL SEVEN!

* * *

**Well, I did a good job. I mean, for today. A plenty good job. And yes, I am referring to Harry Potter. Sorry! So sorry! You should be lucky I'm not referring to Ron Weasley! Ohhhhhhhh! **

**I met Rupert Grint (Ron) yesterday. He's in Orlando for this whole month that I'm there! I had heard he would be there with Daniel Radcliffe (Harry) and Emma Watson (Hermione) two months ago and I found out that he'd be there all of May and he was there a few days before May too. **

**So, now that I'm in Orlando, I sneak on my laptop at night and have my little fantasies in my mind about me and Rupert Grint. Ahhh. I have a bad little mind. I really do. **

**Anywho, tell me which rules were your faves!**


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